Next Chapter

Well the past12 weeks have flown by, and I can’t believe I am back at work today. I am heartbroken, nervous, and relieved all at the same time. Heartbroken that I won’t be waking up to Gracie’s precious little smile every morning or snuggling with her on the couch all day. Nervous for my babysitters and hoping that both kiddos don’t drive them to insanity. But also relieved to be getting structure back into my life {and for once wear an outfit and not have to worry about getting spit up all over it}.

These past couple of months have been so challenging but rewarding at the same time, and I’ve been able to truly reflect on how blessed I am to have two healthy, beautiful children. Even in the most frustrating moments {and there have been LOTS of those}, I am thankful for my family and so proud to be Jayden and Gracie’s mama. And I am encouraged to be the type of wife and mom that God would be pleased with. The kind of woman that puts her husband and kids before herself; one that finds pleasure in serving her family.

I have also been struggling with guilt & crazy emotions the past two weeks…wondering if being a working mom was the right decision, and worrying that my kids aren’t getting the best from me. But I’ve realized that working is a means of providing and caring for my family as well. You don’t have to be physically with your children all day to provide for them. Plus I have the benefit of having the BEST babysitters that truly want to spend time with my kids. In a perfect world, things would be different…but for now I am at peace with our situation. And I will stare at this picture on my desk all day and fight back tears…happy ones, sad ones…grateful ones.